I'm not sure I like that appreciation requires a special day set aside for it to be articulated.
I'm not sure I like all the excess of the day when really all I want is simplicity--some quiet, quality time with my sweet family.
And I'm not sure I like watching a dear friend--a sister, really--sitting silently by listening to Mother's Day tributes when she has been unable as yet to become a mother.
We have loads of words in the English language for grief over something that is lost, something that has passed out of our lives. But what about grief for what has not come into our lives, has not come into existence? How do you grieve something that is not? There are no words for the ache I feel for the women who yearn endlessly to be mothers. I am hopeful and prayerful for my friend--there is still time and possibilities. But I know of others whose door of possibilities has closed. And my heart hurts for them because I know that they hurt.
So when thinking of motherhood, I recognize that the fact that I am a mother is an extraordinary gift--not something I have earned or am entitled to. My children, by God's grace, have been given to me in trust. So as I walk through life I hold tightly my children's hands and also the hands of my friends--because walking comes easier when we have a hand to hold.
top image from: http://afth.wordpress.com/2012/02/
A lovely perspective.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Lauren.Delete
In general, Hallmark holidays ring hollow for me, even though (like you) I do love the hand-drawn cards I receive from my kids. I never thought about how the holiday effects women struggling with infertility or in the middle of a long, drawn-out adoption ordeal, so thank you for that perspective. As someone who lost her mom at a relatively young age, the holiday isn't much fun for me. It just reminds me of her absence. On a happy note, however, I did get a gift card to my favorite nursery and have been busy planting.ReplyDelete
Ooo, so glad you are able to do some planting. I hadn't thought much about women who have lost their mothers as well--so it's not a happy rosy day for many people, not just women. Thank you for that perspective as well, Amy.Delete
Beautiful as always. That you think of others on this day shows your kindness. Holidays of all kind can be bittersweet.ReplyDelete
Yes, the older I get the more I become aware of the bittersweetness of holidays for so many. Thank you, Stevie. Always lovely to see youDelete
beautiful...we must remember how lucky we truly are...ReplyDelete
Indeed we are, Debbi - thank youDelete
This was our second mother's day without my mother-in-law and it also would've been her birthday, so I was glad to get past it. Like you, I'm so grateful for the undeserved gift of my kids because I know many excellent, motherly women without that blessing and it's definitely a grief.ReplyDelete
Other than that, Mother's Day is awesome! ;)
I'm sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. It makes days like Mother's Day a little bittersweet. Apart from that I hope your kids and grandkids showered you will love!Delete
Well written, Anna. I get to "enjoy" mother's day from all three perspectives. This was the tenth anniversary of the day without my mom, and it marks the day to remember the two babies I lost early in pregnancy. Fortunately, God blessed us with four beautiful children too. Mother's day will always be a mixed bag of joy and sadness for me.ReplyDelete
I'm so sorry Mother's Day is bittersweet for you as well. But you are SO blessed with 4 gorgeous kids and a sweet family. Thanks, Wendy.Delete